Gender preference

People immediately assume that since I already have a daughter that I am now hoping for a son, but that's not necessarily the case. This may come as a shock but, I genuinely don't have a preference of the gender of this little babe.

I get giddy thinking about possibly having another girl and Maisie having a sister (me and my sister are incredibly close). Them sharing a room and them potentially realizing they have a built in best friend in each other is heartwarming. The dresses, bows and pigtails are just irresistible. Twice the amount of giggles? I would never turn that down.

BUT... a boy? The concept is so foreign that it kind of terrifying I saw a quote recently that said something along the lines of "don't marry a man in less you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." and that's all it took to snap me out of my fear of raising a son. Austin is genuine, humble, hardworking and has his priorities in line. He is the perfect leader of our little family and I would be ecstatic if our potential son grew to be just like him. Plus, wouldn't be so fun to add some boy clothes and toys to our girly mix?

Seeing how I am 19 weeks along, it won't be much longer before we find out for sure and I am equally excited for either outcome.

Mama's girl?

Maisie is a bonafide Daddy's girl for the exception when she's hurt or really scared then she wants Mama, but when she wants to cuddle or rough house she immediately heads for Daddy's arms. She still smothers me in daily kisses and gives me unique compliments like "I love your skin, its so warm!" So I try my best not to get too jealous because it's heartwarming watching them, but sometimes I feel like the third wheel who just made them dinner and cleaned the house and bathed the child, yet it's Daddy she wants, but oh well. I like cuddling with him too and he's a good cuddler so I can't blame her for that.

Anyway, since I became pregnant Maisie has made a sudden switch where she only wants me and to be honest I don't hate it. I can't walk out of the room without her inquiring where I am headed. When she wakes up in the morning now instead of going to Daddy's side of the bed to be let up, now she comes to my side. She only wants to cuddle with me. She only wants to play with me and Austin is confused why he's now in the doghouse, but I think kids are so much more aware of change than we give credit for and as excited as Maisie is to meet her little sibling I think she's starting to understand that Mama is going to be busy when baby comes. We talk about it all the time and she knows that the baby needs help doing just about everything and boy, is she eager to help! So i think she's trying to absorb as much of Mama as she can before the baby gets here. The tides will turn again and before I know it daddy will be the favorite again, so I am going to enjoy it while I can and hope Daddy doesn't get his feelings hurt too badly.

Also, a couple weeks ago Maisie was cuddling with me on the couch when she fell asleep in my arms. I couldn't believe it! I can't even begin to explain how rare that is. She did fall asleep with Austin when he was trying to get her to take a nap on Christmas Eve and that was quite the shock as well, but not counting that, the last time she fell asleep in our arms was when she caught the influenza virus 3 days after recovering from croup. She had an 104 fever and fell asleep on my shoulder while waiting in the hospital waiting room. She was a few months shy of 2. So it's such a treat when she willingly falls asleep in our arms without being deathly sick.

I cuddled her for a good hour before I had to sneak off to start dinner, but not before I took a couple pictures of her sacked on the couch.

cute fruit

I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is flying by! With Maisie I felt like I was pregnant forever- time passed so slowly (maybe, just maybe it was the 18 weeks of unrelenting morning/day/night sickness and then weekly psychical therapy due to sciatica ) but this time around I only had about 6 weeks of  nausea/dizziness/seasickness (that conveniently took place Thanksgiving through Christmas) and even then that was too long in my book. 

Now that the sickess has passed, everything is going smoothly and I even have enough energy to exercise. I briskly walk 10-12 miles a week on an indoor track at the University while pushing Maisie in a stroller and its been doing wonders on my overall spirits. Other news? I am officially sporting a baby bump and wake up to little nudges almost every morning. I can't wait to meet this little babe, July can't come fast enough!

p.s isn't this app so fun? I love getting weekly updates on just how big the little babe is. Maisie also gets a kick out of knowing too. She proudly exclaims every fruit/vegetable and jumps up and down with joy. I am so blessed to have a child who understands and is so ecstatic about this pregnancy. Honestly, when I feel a little stressed or anxious about all the upcoming changes, she encourages me by being so darn excited. Anyone who knows little Maisie knows she has such an infectious enthusiasm and I just adore that about her. She makes this pregnant gig a pleasure, even when my back aches, or I am so exhausted I can barely function or when I am hungry, but nothing sounds good or am craving something that is completely unobtainable in Idaho, this little babe growing within me and the darling daughter who can't wait to be a big sister make it completely worth it.

Affirmation

I remember when I was pregnant with Maisie (4 years ago! What!?) reading in the small section about "pregnancy number two concerns" in my What to Expect book (to this day I don't know why I was reading that section) I just remember the Q&A page that voiced the concern of a mother of a toddler who was pregnant with another baby and she asked: "Will I love this child as much as my first?" I remember scoffing and thinking that despite what my teachers had taught me about "there is no such thing as a dumb question" I read that question and instantly thought that those teachers were quite mistaken. Anyway, it wasn't until Maisie turned two when we were in the talks of growing our family, when I started to experience anxiety about that very subject. I would think it's impossible for me to love more. And it's true, I love my husband and daughter with every ounce of my being and the idea of trying to divide that love? Well, it terrified me.

It wasn't until my wise husband said these words to me that it finally clicked...

"Your love won't divide, it will only grow."

For two years I had told myself those words over and over and now that we are in the throes of growing our family (almost half way there!) I truly and completely believe them. My love for this little one growing within me is already fierce and I have never doubted my connection to it or it's purpose in our lives.