The eventful birth of Evan Robert

For months I have thought about the day that I would sit and write Evan's birth story. I wanted more than anything to peer into a crystal ball to get a glimpse of the day after he was born, that way I would know that (hopefully) everything turned out alright. The countless appointments and never ending worrying because of the VCI became such a heavy burden, especially the last month of my pregnancy and the only way to cure the worrying was to just have the child already. There were moments where I would be folding little Evan's laundry and honestly wonder if he'd ever come home to wear them. That's a dark and painful thought to admit, but an honest one. Since his birth I have felt a tremendous weight lifted from my shoulders, not that its been easy to get thrown back in to real life with three kids, but little Evan and I came out of the other side of a dark and scary place of uncertainty. Even with how stressful and exhausting every day life has now become, we are all accounted for and are doing great.

It's been a month since his arrival so we all know this story ends with this:

But this kid didn't come out without giving us all (OB, L&D nurse and NICU nurse included) a handful of good scares. During 7 of the 9 hours of labor I was exasperated and confused about how nothing was going according to plan. "Not going to plan" seems to be the theme for Evan's entire pregnancy and birth- I am crossing my fingers that it's now all out of his system and it seems to be so far.

The day before Evan was born was the Fourth of July so we had no problem keeping extremely busy. Fourth of July breakfast? Check. Parade? Check. Baseball game? Check. BBQ? Check. Lucy's pizza? Check. Neighborhood firework show? Check. Staying up wayyy too late when you have a 6am induction the following morning? Triple check.

{Last day as a family of 4 on the Fourth of July}

We were told that the Fourth of July is usually pretty busy in the Labor and Delivery ward because a lot of women get dehydrated from the hot outdoor festivities (and I can see why because boy, being 39 weeks pregnant in 95 degree heat is not at all comfortable), so they advised us that we should call before we made our way to the hospital. Austin was convinced that there was no way they would actually be ready for us at that time, so I haphazardly set an alarm on my phone for 4:45 am. Before I knew it that cruel alarm went off. I called Labor and Delivery and sure enough they were ready for us- take that Austin! We quickly showered, put a couple of last minute items into our suitcase and snuck into the girls' room to kiss their heads and tuck them in (again).  I grabbed a greek yogurt, put a handful of berries on top and ate it as we drove to the hospital. It was so weird to have things so calm- it helped that my sister, Katie, flew in a few days prior to take care of the girls. I knew they were in good hands so that made leaving so much easier. It was just a matter of hours before I would finally hold my sweet boy.

We checked into the hospital, got gowned up, answered a bajillion and one questions, met my awesome nurse (who's one and only job that day was taking care of me) hooked me up to all of the monitors (the blood pressure cuff felt pleasant on my sunburned arm- ouch!) inserted the I.V port (she got my vein first try, so I knew she was good) and then after a quick cervical check (a 1 but fully effaced) it was time for the dreaded pitocin drip. It got started and within 10 minutes I started to contract. Within 30 minutes I was having regular contractions 3-4 minutes apart. Every 20 minutes or so my nurse would evaluate if we should or need to up the pitocin. She started it at a level 2 and explained that the average amount women need to keep a steady stream of contractions is around a level 12, but usually maxing out at 20. Slowly but surely she upped my pitocin levels to an 8. Around 8 am my OB came in to check in on me and see how everything was going. He had clinic patients to see at his office (right next to the hospital), but would come back around noon to break my water. We had discussed in his office in the weeks prior to the birth that it would be a smart idea to get an epidural before my water was ruptured. Once my water was broken that's when things could get dicey without having the protection of the water around his cord, so it was important to be in a position where we could have a potential c-section quickly in case of an emergency. So they set a 11:30 time spot for my epidural. An hour or so after my OB left, my contractions were getting strong and fast. I felt like such a wimp because there I was already super uncomfortable and I had only been in labor for a few hours- pitocin doesn't mess around! When my nurse came in I asked to be unhooked to my monitor so I could use the restroom (but really I just wanted to walk around for a bit). When she came back in hook me back up I asked if I could walk around for a bit longer and that's when she offered to hook me up to the glorious portable monitor system- thank goodness! I walked around and it was lovely. Austin and I turned on the tv and started some Alaska show on the Discovery channel... Alaska Homicide maybe? We also got an hour or so of HGTV.  It was fun to watch actual tv for once and not just streaming services or watching our usual shows (let's face it, The Office mostly), but sheesh we don't miss the commercials haha! Austin ate breakfast while I got cozy in the rocking chair and rocked through my contractions. I started to think that I wasn't contracting anymore and almost called the nurse to up my pitocin, but Austin said my contractions never slowed down- he kept watch of those strips the whole time. Its amazing that I was having the same intensity of contractions, yet when I was moving I could hardly feel them, but being on the bed I had to be breathing through them. I stayed in the rocking chair until 11 o'clock when my nurse came back in. She explained that the baby had had two heart rate decelerations right after a couple of back to back contractions- which isn't normal. During a contraction it's completely normal (within reason) for the heart rate to dip, but right after is a good indicator of cord compression, which made my nurse uneasy especially because that's one thing we really needed to keep an eye on due to the velamentous cord insertion. The nurse wasn't too worried because it could have been a bad reading from the monitor, but she did say she wanted me to get back into bed and lay me on my left side and see if it was a fluke or not. I was bummed to be back in the bed, but I only had a half hour to kill until the anesthesiologist was scheduled to come in so I knew that was doable.

{Last bump picture}

Right before the anesthesiologist came in, my nurse did another quick cervical exam and I was at a 3. I felt indifferent about that, although I was hoping it would have been higher seeing how I was contracting like a champ. The nurse hoped that once my water broke I would dilate a whole lot faster than I had been. The anesthesiologist came in promptly at 11:30 and he was a wonderful, angel of a man. He explained that he does a different type of epidural called a combined spinal epidural (CSE). It's when a spinal block and an epidural mate and the result is nothing short of magic (my description not his hah!). It allows for the quick relief that a spinal block is known for, but with the slow dripping pain relief catheter of an epidural. Also, they use a fraction of the amount of pain killer, but keep it highly localized- so you are only numb in the lower abdominal/pelvic region. You can feel pressure and are able to move around completely normal (on the bed for liability reasons of course). My legs felt a tad heavy and at first a little tingly, but then eventually felt normal. I remember being scared of getting the epidural because I wasn't in enough pain labor wise to distract me from the massive needle going into my spine, but I felt nothing more than a small pinch. The anesthesiologist had Austin come around and watch while he explained and did the whole procedure. The whole thing was calm and fascinating. It was weird having the CSE because I could feel Evan kick and swirl around, but no pain of contractions- just a slight squeeze. It was mind blowing- I swore I wasn't in labor any more because I felt completely normal- no dead legs, no nausea, but maybe a tad itchy. Even though I was blissfully unaware, my contractions were getting a lot longer and closer together. My OB came back a little after 1:30 and broke my water. All our worries about this moment seemed silly in retrospect because everything looked great. No sign of torn vessels, no immediate fetal stress, no cord prolapse. I instantly felt relieved because I had been dreading the potential bad outcomes of that moment for a long time. Everything was going great other than just dilating slowly. My OB seemed a little concerned about those two dips in Evan's heart rate earlier so he wanted to monitor me from his office while he continued to work in the clinic for a bit. He had the nurse send over pictures of the monitoring strips and call with an update every 15 minutes so he could better anticipate a course of action. My contractions picked up big time after my water broke, every two or so minutes, but I was still pleasantly numb to any pain.  The nurse decided to hold off on increasing the pitocin drip because I wasn't having any troubles contracting (having already had two babies I guess my body seemed to know what it was doing haha) and she was worried about undue stress to the baby. She made a good call of not upping the pitocin because not an hour after my water broke we started to notice more heart decelerations, this time during the contractions which made us less nervous, but they were dipping quite a bit, more than what is deemed "normal". The nurse had me move around and switch positions frequently to see if baby boy preferred a certain position, but we weren't having much luck. Then it was time for another cervical check and I was only a 4!  What in the world?? We were all super confused about how that could be possible. During the cervical check, the nurse's face contorted oddly so I asked her what was going on. "I feel something..." her face looked super confused and then burst into laughter. "IT'S HIS EAR!! I have NEVER felt an EAR during a check before!" What!? How is that possible? "so that's the problem! Baby boy is sideways! Let's see if we can turn him". She explained that his positioning was what was to blame for the slow dilating because his head wasn't properly making contact with my cervix. So since his head was tilted, my body didn't have the stimulus to dilate properly. My nurse brought in "the peanut" imagine one of those big rubber exercise balls, but in an hourglass or peanut shape. We then draped my body over it and switched back and forth, left and right. I could feel little Evan twisting around which I hoped was a good thing.

{Austin's addition to number 10 haha!}

During our attempts to move Evan into the right spot, he began to have even more heart decelerations, but this time dipping way lower than before. His heart rate normally hovered around the 135-140 beats per minute mark, but he dipped down into the low 50's. It was nothing short of terrifying hearing it go so slow and waiting for it to pop back up, hoping it would come back up. My nurse ran and called my OB to suggest an internal fetal monitor that way we would have an accurate reading on his heart rate. She was hoping it was a monitor issue, but she was nervous. The OB after seeing the strip decided to cancel the rest of his clinic appointments and come stay with me until baby boy decided to make his debut. While we waited for the OB to come and place the internal monitor we had a few contractions where we couldn't find his heart rate at all and that silence was torture. The nurse frantically moved the heart rate monitor around my belly when I would contract, desperate to find his heart tones, but was having a hard time. I was so scared because it was clear that something was wrong, but I wasn't having any bleeding or anything else to indicate a torn vessel or cord separation, so it was either cord compression or something else. I started to feel a crazy amount of pressure. Pressure I am all too familiar with from Ellie's birth, but seeing how I was only a 4 about 40 minutes prior I thought there was no way I could be much further along than that. But then I began to shake and I knew I had to be close. Austin kept asking if I was cold and if I needed more blankets as I shook uncontrollably and I mean massive muscle tremors and chattering teeth type shaking. I explained that I was confident I was in transition. I told the nurse and before she could do anything, in walked my OB. He started to unwrap the internal fetal monitor when he noticed my aggressive shaking and asked how I was feeling. "Pressure. Lots of pressure." I answered. He did a cervical check and he said "well Sammie you are fully dilated. Let's get this baby out ok?" me and the nurse jumped for joy. We both were so, so relieved (I'm sure Austin was too). My nurse immediately got into action of getting the room ready while a NICU nurse came in and introduced herself. She said she would be there for the birth and that because of his dipping heart rate, she had been monitoring Evan's progress. She wanted to be there in case he needed any extra help or if heaven forbid, help rush him to the NICU. My OB left for a few minutes to change his clothes while I sat there and tried with all my might NOT to push (so much harder than you'd imagine). In ran my OB and immediately we started to push with my contractions. Evan's heart rate was impossible to find and by the glances my OB and nurse were sharing, I knew it wasn't good. I was told we needed to get him out right away so I pushed longer and harder and didn't stop until I felt Evan's head come out. That's when the OB said "don't worry, but the cord is wrapped around his neck, I need you to stop pushing so I can get it off". He tried to wrap his finger under the cord to pull it up and over his head, but it was wrapped so tightly he couldn't even fit his finger in between the cord and little Evan's neck, so he had to cut it off right then and there. Evan wasn't even fully delivered (his body still hadn't even been pushed out) and already his cord had been cut. One more push later and Evan came screaming into the world and he. was. mad. I immediately sobbed from relief and happiness because it all had been so intense... going from a 4 to fully dilated in 40 minutes was insane enough, but having the cord so tightly wrapped around his neck that they had to cut it off was so, so scary! I just wanted everything to be ok and with every cry and whimper I knew he was ok. Better than ok... he was perfection... See?

It was done! Thank goodness it is done! No hemorrhage, no placenta retention, everything was smooth from there on out. My OB and nurse were so relieved that it was over along with Austin and I. They admitted that I almost got wheeled out for an emergency c-section a handful of times, but thank heavens I was able to push him out fast enough. So after months of immense worrying, an intense and terrifying birth I was rewarded with a son- a beautiful boy and it felt so good just to hold him.

When we switched to the recovery room I felt great- a little swollen from all the fluids they pumped through me, but it felt so good to have permission to be up and walking around. I'm actually surprised at how great I felt. Those new baby hormones (I call it the new baby high) do wonders. As I walked with our delivery nurse down the hall and Austin took Evan for his first bath in the nursery, I asked her how nervous she was during everything. She replied with "dude, I was scared the whole time! He was giving us trouble, good thing he's cute though!" she had a good game face during the whole ordeal though, which I appreciated. When Austin came back with our shiny new baby we started talking about how it felt so good to be done. It was such a tremendous relief to have had made it through unscathed. While talking about the labor and delivery I made a comment about how he seemed so calm the entire time, which is VERY unlike him because he's usually full of anxiety for things as stressful or unpredictable as birth (especially this one). I do pretty good at staying calm in most stressful situations, but I was a nervous wreck the entire time and my anxious husband was as calm as a cucumber- what sense does that make? When I asked him if he was actually calm or if he just had on a brave face for me he said stoically "no, I really was calm." I was so confused because I was freaking out during the entire extent of the induction because of all the complications. "Even when he was in the wrong position?! Or when we couldn't find his heart rate? Or the CORD WAS WRAPPED AROUND EVAN'S NECK sooo tight that the OB had to CUT it off!? How in the world were you calm during all of that??" Austin responded with "because I knew that they were ready for a c-section the entire time". That's when I started to laugh because the reason behind his calm demeanor was the exact reason I was a nervous wreck! haha!

Later that evening Katie, my sister, brought the girls to meet little Evan I'll do a whole separate post about that visit, but it filled me with joy to see my girls whole heartily welcome their baby brother. It was such a sweet moment.

The hospital staff usually recommends that you stay the bare minimum of 24 hours post birth or the more desired 48 hours. Austin thought the 48 hour stay would be "fun" and "like a vacation".  I tried to remind him how terrible it is to try and get any sort of rest in the hospital, but he was convinced it would be ok. After our night of being woken up by a nurse every 2 hours for uterine compressions, blood pressure tests, check ups for Evan and being bombarded with questions like "hows your pain level?" "When was the last time you pee'd?" "Any dizziness or headache?" Austin wanted out. I knew he would eventually remember that a hospital stay is far from a vacation. We were dying to get back home to sleep in our own bed. So as soon as we hit the 24 hour mark we high tailed out of there. While I will say I missed the quiet of the hospital, it felt so good to be home.

About a week later I got a nice card in the mail from the amazing nurses and kind staff that helped us at the hospital. I cracked up as I noticed what our labor and delivery nurse, Krista, said in the card (first note at the top)...

He really was quite the trouble maker, but thankfully being born has calmed him down a bit. :)

The eventful birth of Elizabeth Hazel

Well, Ellie is now 3 weeks old, so it's about time for her birth story.

To read about the week and day leading up to Ellie's birth click here. 

On the 23rd of July, I was awoken from a much needed nap with some pretty strong contractions, but nothing too alarming because I had worse and much longer with the false labor just 6 days prior. I was groggy and frankly still cranky from the exhausting day, but I knew I was up for good. I didn't feel like getting out of bed just yet, so I laid there and pulled out my contraction counter. I coldly chuckled to myself as I deleted the "contraction history" from days prior when I was mentally and physically ready to have this baby and the sting from thinking back on that false alarm quickly snapped me out of my wishful thinking of could this be it? I closed the app on my phone, turned off the screen and tossed it down toward the edge of the bed where it couldn't easily be reached (that's not too far when you are 40 weeks +3 days pregnant haha). I laid there so bent out of shape that it was hard to be positive about anything so I tried my best to clear my head and relax. Little did I know that less than 12 hours later my precious Ellie would be placed in my arms.

While laying there I could feel the contractions work themselves into a pattern a lot quicker than the false labor had. I waited for 5 more and to me, it seemed to be pretty consistent gaps between, but without my phone it was hard to be completely sure, so that's when I caved and whipped out my fancy contraction counter to discover my suspicion was right. These were very consistent- lasting within seconds of each other in length and frequency. I decided to pick up my sorry behind and made my way down stairs where I discovered Maisie and Katie making dinner and Austin slaving away on a bench he was making out of pallet wood he found near our dumpster (he later told me he went out in the garage because I wasn't too fun to be around haha) I sat at the bar counter hunched over with a defeatist  attitude when Austin came in for a drink of water.  He squeezed my shoulder and asked me how I was feeling. I then admitted I was having contractions. Austin rolled his eyes and said "we'll see where that goes" but seeing how I was 3 days late how could this not be the real deal right?

I kept up with the contraction counter and it quickly became evident that we were going to be having a baby soon. This is a screen shot of what my contraction counter looked like at by 8:17pm...



As excited as I was, I was still emotionally drained from the stress of the week leading up to that point. I also then realized that my awesome midwife wasn't on call and that mean't that I would be getting who I refer to as "dingbat". She seriously is clueless and not very helpful or confident and to me she just seemed so blasé.. so I was upset about that a bit, but even more so, I was incredibly relieved that I would finally be meeting my little Ellie (even though it still seemed so surreal). We made arrangements with my friend Sarah to come over and be with Maisie through the night once we decided to head to the hospital (that way Katie could come with us right away). Austin and Katie stayed up with me until 1am and when they decided to try to get some sleep, I calmly (even though the contractions were pretty intense and only a few minutes apart) got into the shower-turned-bath loaded with lavender essential oil. It was wonderful- I could feel the stress melting off between contractions. I hopped out of the bath and stood in front of the mirror starring at my round bare belly one last time, watching it shift and roll with every move that Ellie made. With all the worry about not feeling her move earlier the day before and having a stressful non-stress test, little Ellie made it clear she was just fine- dancing wildly around inbetween contractions. She was so ready to come out and boy, was I so ready to meet her.

My contractions continued to get more and more intense, but between them I still felt good, tired, but good. What does good feel like while in labor? Well I was able to blow dry and straighten my hair and put on a tiny amount of makeup between- sure it took me 3x as long as it should have, but believe me it's no easy task while contracting only a few minutes apart. At 3am I texted Sarah and told her it was time to head over. Then I woke Austin and Katie up, packed a couple last minute items and made my way downstairs. I held onto the counter for dear life in a deep plié position while borderline hyperventilating (which should have been the first clue that I was starting transition). Sarah came over while I was starting a rough contraction she looked at me and then looked at my sister and whispered "she's so close" and boy, was she right. When I was able to pull myself together (and away from the counter) we made our way to the hospital. Maybe it's the perks of living in a small town or that it was 3:30 in the morning, but there wasn't a soul on the road, but even with no one else around, we actually got caught by a red light. Don't worry though, Austin blew right through it. I smacked his arm and chewed him out- "you're just using my labor to break the law! I am totally fine, I didn't ask you to do that!" Austin still laughs that I could be in the throes of labor and still able to call him out, but that's what wives are for right?

We pulled up to the hospital where we had to enter through the E.R entrance. After checking in and answering a handful of questions they made me wait for what seemed like forever until a nurse could come wheel me up to Labor and Delivery (in reality it probably was only 10 minutes tops, but still, hospitals make me uncomfortable and labor is obviously uncomfortable, so to me it felt like eternity). This is when I realized that I was starting transition because I started going into what I like to call "panic mode". Need a mental image? Just imagine me crying softly and ever so pathetically, uncontrollably shaking and to top it off hyperventilating. Once the nurse came down she asked me about a "birth plan" I told her I initially wanted to try for a natural labor, but that now I am second guessing it. We all kind of chuckled at that statement, but I was seriously uncomfortable. The nurse took me straight to the delivery room (not triage) and after noticing that I was unable to regulate my breathing looked me straight in the eye and gave me a pep talk "You are in transition and you can't panic now. I know this it's difficult, but you need to take a few deep breaths and calm down. We are going to get you in the tub as soon as possible, but for now you and your baby need oxygen, so breathe with me." She then started doing some of the typical lamaze type breathing exercises and without a beat Austin and Katie were doing it too (I wish there was a video of that because that would be funny to watch now). After being confined to the bed (it's the worst while in labor) being strapped to the fetal heart rate monitor and a quick cervical check which confirmed all of our suspicion of being in transition- a solid 7 cms dilated- double what I was only so many hours earlier. I was anxious to get into the tub and be able to zone out without so many people breathing funnily in my face, but the nurse responsible for inserting the I.V was really struggling (my veins are deep and like to hide and roll) so after 30 minutes of being poked they finally got a good enough one and immediately put me in the tub.

The tub was awesome, but not during the contractions- I'm convinced nothing would have soothed out those doozy of contractions because they literally took my breath away. The contractions were on top of each other and lasting excruciatingly long minutes, but between the contractions? -the tub was glorious. I could completely relax. Austin and Katie thought I was sleeping until a contraction would roll around and immediately remind them that they were extremely lucky they weren't the one in labor. Then when my contractions were back to back and I had maybe a minute between them I did what I didn't want to do, but I was desperate for relief... I inquired about an epidural. I became fixated on seeing the angel of an anesthesiologist roll in with sweet, sweet relief. But the nurse said I had to have at least two full I.V bags in before they would do it. So after being in the tub for who knows how long, maybe 45 minutes? I made my way to the room and asked if they could call the anesthesiologist. They said they would, but thought it best if we did another cervical exam to see if I had made any progress. Sure enough still a 7... I about lost it. I looked at the nurse and dingbat midwife and insisted they call him up NOW because the contractions were too much to not be making progress. I wanted that epidural in place the second that last bag of I.V fluids finished dripping. Shortly after that are when things got intense.

 I paced back and forth and clung unto Austin during contractions trying anything to work my way through them. Then I got onto the birthing ball (which remember when I was in labor with Maisie I referred to it as "the birthing ball of death" but this time it was amazing). I bounced while tilting my pelvis in circles (kind of like a hula hoop motion) balancing on the balls of my feet- I didn't stop doing it between contractions because I was in the zone (and the contractions were so close together it's not like I had much time between anyway). During the worst of the contractions I remember imagining that the contraction was a bolt of lightning running through my body. I remember pushing down on the balls of my feet and willing/imagining/pushing the contraction out of my body through the exit point on my feet. I know, It sounds insane, but I was beyond primal by that point and irrational/crazy thoughts are just part of the fun. I started to experience insane pressure and noticed I would instinctively bear down a little bit and it felt so much better than just breathing through them. I remember thinking to myself Sammie your waters haven't even broken, so its definitely not time to push yet...so easy does it.

After particularly hard contractions I would cry out softly "where is he?" or just beg pitifully "please, please". Then to top it off the cordless monitor they had around me wasn't picking up Ellie's heart rate very well, so the nurse was trying to position it better all while I was bouncing. She made a comment about how being on the bed would help her out, but I paid no attention to her because there was no way in heck I was moving until the anesthesiologist came in. Austin then started asking me to get into the bed because of the monitor issues "you know you have to be in the bed to get the epidural anyway so you might as well be ready now" but again I zoned them all out because having contractions in the bed was equivalent to torture to me. Then I finally heard the words I was looking for "he's on his way!" Then and only then, I got onto the bed. He walked in and instead of being the angel I had fantasied he'd be, he quite frankly was a jerk. He wouldn't listen to me as I told him to give me a second and when I wiggled and pleaded with him to stop, he snapped at me "you are going to have contractions regardless, so I need you to stay in position... I am not going to wait. And you CANNOT move." I told him that I needed to move over and push because the pressure was almost unbearable, but he snapped at me again and pushed down on my back so I would curl over which was beyond excruciating. I cried because I felt so helpless and the guy I THOUGHT would help me wasn't making it easier and before he could ask me the mandatory questions he is supposed to ask before he could start the procedure my water exploded.. Yup, full on exploded. Oh and for that minute I felt extreme relief because the pressure of the water was gone. That moment was no joke, heavenly, but only for a moment and then even more immense pressure than before, but this time it was Ellie. I started yelling out "she's coming! I need to push! Stop!" But looking at the midwife and nurse it seemed as though no one believed me. No joke I could feel her crowning and head coming out and I started to panic. The anesthesiologist continued to snap at me while I struggled to arch my back because well, there was a baby coming out of my body. He kept pulling and pushing my body into position while Austin squarely held my shoulders. Still unable to get into the desired position the jerk-of-an-anesthesiologist wanted (he was seriously groaning and sighing every time I would move- I am pretty sure if I could have seen his eyes they would have been rolling- he was terrible and he deserved the pain of a million labors) Katie started yelling "arch your back Sammie! Like a scared cat! Like a scared cat Sammie!"Finally Mr. Meanie-head inserted the catheter, but before he could inject the medicine I rolled over where my midwife looked under my gown and was surprised that she could see Ellie's head. I then began yelling/crying out because of the intense pressure. It wasn't as much of a pain yell (haha yes it was), but more of a terrified/shocked yell. I was in shock that without any hard pushing she was just slipping out. Austin, Katie and the midwife were telling me she was pretty much out, but i didn't believe them because Maisie was crowning for 45 minutes before she finally came out, but Ellie had no intention of waiting even a fraction of that time. The anesthesiologist inserted the medicine and realizing it was much too late he looked at me and said "this would have done you some good 30 minutes ago"... yeah no duh Sherlock.  So after only being at the hospital for a little over 2 hours, the midwife told me to push and with some hesitation, a little begging and a few pitiful tears (I really, really, REALLY wanted the epidural to kick in) I began pushing and 3 minutes later at 5:52am with absolutely no numbness at all, Elizabeth Hazel came screaming into the world. And once again, I experienced love at first sight.

I know, my ugly cry face, but I still love this picture. It perfectly shows the moment we met our second daughter, our little Ellie- It's love and relief all wrapped into one.

fresh little bundle of perfection

Since my waters broke and then maybe 5 short minutes later Ellie was born, there wasn't a lot of time for her to expel the fluid from her lungs. So she was quite blue and gurgley. You could hear her struggle to breathe a bit and so the nurses did their best to get as much fluid with a nasal aspirator while I cuddled my precious baby, but when they finally took her out of my arms for an official weight (over an hour after she was born) the nurse wasn't happy with her oxygen levels. She was still on the bluish side and after trying a handful of things to raise her oxygen levels, they finally had to tube her and suck fluid from her lungs and stomach. That seemed to have done the trick because thankfully her oxygen levels shot up to normal levels and has been great ever since.

After delivering the placenta the nurse unplugged the epidural (it was only in for maybe 20 minutes) which then started to kick in, which I was so thankful for because I had moderate to heavy bleeding, which made the midwife nervous about possibly hemorrhaging, so she pumped me full of pitocin and roughly kneaded my poor and traumatized uterus for 10 minutes. Which even slightly tingly and semi numb still hurt like crazy! So even though I never did get the full effects of the epidural it sure helped out with the post labor things... now if only it worked more on the birth part hah.

Within 2 hours I was up walking around, able to use the restroom (oh my goodness, I didn't go pee for a whole day after Maisie because I hurt so badly and my bladder was bruised- it wasn't until they threatened to catheter me that I finally went) and shower. Just 2 hours after birth I didn't even feel like I gave birth, it was so surreal. I felt like I could go hiking... seriously. It could have been the mix of new baby high, no tearing, and a relatively quick birth (about 12 hours start to finish) that made for a near perfection post partum experience. I feel truly blessed to have had such a sweet recovery period.

More pictures? Ok!


This is the picture Austin sent to our parents to announce her arrival.


The picture we sent to all our family and friends later that morning.

family of 4

As you can see just the next morning, my pain level was only at a 1 it was amazing!
Also, Ellie was and continues to be a champion eater and waste maker. :)

pre-birth story

The week leading up to Ellie's birth was full of ups and downs and it would feel wrong not to include the moments/days that led to her birth. So if you are looking for all the birth details they wont be in this post, but you will get a good sense of my mental state before going into labor. I promise the birth story is coming up soon, but until then, I present to you her "pre-birth story".

Lets start at my 39 week appointment with my midwife- on the 15th we found out I was dilated to 2 cms and 80% effaced. We were over the moon and prepared ourselves for a sooner than later birth (big mistake). A couple days later (the 17th) we were completely convinced that I was in labor- I had contractions for 14 hours that grew in intensity that got to only 4 minutes apart and stayed that way for over 2 hours! My good friend and neighbor, Sarah hung around me all day and even she was convinced it was the real thing (she has 5 kids and her last was born just 4 months ago, so she's a pretty reliable source when it comes to all things pregnancy, labor, baby and children)  She also marched me around the neighborhood militant style for a couple hours and forced me to eat spicy tacos. After my late night walk and my belly full of spicy tacos I went home where I started to pack my hospital bag. At two in the morning I was pretty uncomfortable, but mostly tired. I decided to lay down and prayed that I would have a distinct feeling on when to call the midwife (who lives 30 minutes away), but I felt pressed that I should just try to get some rest. Sure enough I fell asleep and the contractions while they didn't stop, became less frequent and died in intensity. This lasted for days. Seriously. Contractions and the consistent-growing-in-intensity-this-is-the-real-deal-I'm-in-labor contractions for many many days (and nights). I was over it.

A couple days after the false labor, I called my midwife after having a big meltdown because I was so discouraged with how many contractions I was having, but having no other sign I was in labor. She had me come into the office where she did another check to find that this time I was only 3 cms and still 80% effaced with baby very high...so in my irrational I'm-going-to-be-pregnant-forever way of thinking I took that as no progress (even though I was one more cm dilated so those contractions were doing some thing...I guess). I about had it. I then promised myself to ignore all contractions and wait for one of the "for sure" signs of labor. I wasn't going to believe it until I had other "cervical signs" (those of you that have had babies know what I am talking about), my water broke or I was in transition. Every thing else I would ignore and pay no attention to.

My sister, Katie, flew into Idaho Falls on my due date and much to my dismay, I was still pregnant. At lunch Katie told me about a dream she had a month or so back that Ellie was born on the 24th  I scoffed because there was no way I would be 4 days late... 2 maybe, but 4? No way! I thought she was just having some subconscious "premonition" because Maisie was 4 days late and her brain some how remembered that and was applying it to Ellie (I don't know what it was, but it turns out she was right). We spent the next couple of days relaxing because Maisie was down and out with a cold and I was 40+ weeks pregnant, tired and cranky.

Wednesday, July 23rd AKA the worst day of my life- okay okay, not life, but probably in my top 5 worst days and most definitely of the whole pregnancy. I had my 40 week appointment scheduled for 2pm and since we had a couple hours to kill, we went up to Idaho Falls to run a few errands. We ran into Sam's Club for a few things, but mainly the soft pretzel I was craving, but sure enough they were sold out and Heaven knows I wanted that pretzel. That was strike #1 of my worst day tally. Anyway, we lost track of time in Idaho Falls and missed my appointment (strike #2) I felt so dumb, but after calling the midwife she told me to just come in and she would squeeze me in. We quickly made our way to my appointment where we waited for what seemed like forever (totally my fault because I missed my allotted time, but still I'm not fond of waiting. strike #3). My midwife did another check and this time a 3-3 1/2 and 80% effaced so this time no change at all expect a measly 1/2 cm (strike #4) I almost started bawling right there. Then we started a stressful conversation about possibly doing an induction because my sister only had 6 days until she headed back home and the whole purpose to her visit was to be here for the birth, so I felt seriously pressed for time. My midwife looked me in the eye and told me she was convinced it would happen by itself and with Katie here. So we decided not to schedule the induction which was risky because they don't do it on weekends so my only option would be Monday a day before Katie leaves that is if they weren't already all booked up (strike #5). No bueno.

 My midwife asked if I had any questions or concerns and so I mentioned I hadn't been feeling Ellie move around very much the last few days, I figured it was due to her getting into position, but to be on the safe side my midwife decided to give me a non-stress test. What should have taken 20 minutes ended up taking over 2 hours because Ellie's heart rate wouldn't accelerate and even out (strike #6). Why that's what they are looking for? No clue, but I did know that they weren't very happy with how it was going. Finally close to 2 and 1/2 hours in Ellie got the hiccups which was great relief to me to finally feel her move, but it also accelerated her heart rate enough for my midwife and nurse to assure me everything was fine and to go home and take it easy. Those hours were so stressful, I was beyond worried and upset that some thing was seriously wrong with my baby. The way the nurse looked at the strip and tried to act like she wasn't worried, really freaked me out. I was so upset that I felt like a bomb about to go off, I am sure Austin, Katie and Maisie could all feel the tension radiating off of me. I had reached my threshold and from there on it took everything in my power to try to stay calm, but really I was anything but calm.

 I hadn't eaten since 8 that morning and it was pushing 5 o'clock- I was starving (or as I say hangry- hunger/angry- strike #7) which on top of the 6 other strikes set me over the edge. I made a huge salad and ate it while hot angry tears dripped down my face. After my salad I went upstairs where I took a little nap and then was woken up by contractions. All I could think to myself was great, now the false labor is back, but little did I know then that I truly was in early labor...

Love at first sight...

I never believed in that expression until seven weeks ago. I remember when my mid-wife placed Maisie on my chest how overcome I was with pure joy. I was laughing and crying from sheer bliss. That was by far was the happiest moment of my life. Nothing else mattered except for my little family. In that moment I wasn't thinking about pain, money or even modesty (as I was fully exposed for the crowd of Doctors, Nurses and Mid-wives that flooded my room in case Maisie needed some extra help). I had my little girl in my arms and that was all that mattered.

From about the 8th week of my pregnancy on I had reoccurring dreams that the baby that was growing inside me was a little girl. I never called her a girl though... she was always just "baby". Oh and for a short time we called her "Pat" after the Saturday night live character where you never knew if "it" was a boy or a girl haha! But in my heart I knew. I remember the Ultrasound Tech asked if wanted to know. Austin and I looked at each other and at the same time said "Yes!" She was having a hard time finding a good angle and the suspense was killing us! She finally got the money shot, hit print screen and told us we were having a baby girl. We were so happy! Either way we would have been, but having my feelings confirmed was a great feeling. I then asked the tech how sure she was. She said 99.9 % I smiled and then asked "How long have you been doing this?" She said 18 years.... phew... a sigh of relief.

After that day I was thinking of all the memories I loved as a little girl. Katie and I picking flowers, baking cookies, putting bows in our hair, playing tea party and dress up. These are all things that I want Maisie to do. Being a girl is so much fun, but having a baby girl is even better! Everything is just so cute and puts a smile on your face. Thus this blog was inspired. My goal for this blog is to broaden my skills and to learn new ones by making crafts, following new recipes, trying new things, and while doing this I will be showering my daughter with all the love I can give. I want to be the mom who knows a little about everything. Who can sew a hem, knit a blanket, grow a garden, cook a delicious meal and make my home feel like a home to all who enter it. Being a mother is a wonderful thing!

So, here I go with every new thing I set out to accomplish if it be a craft, a recipe or a big project I will post my progress and my finished result (that is if it's not embarrassingly terrible). Plus expect weekly updates of little Maisie and what she is up to!