Maisie-isms #3

I just came across this list, the third edition of "Maisie-isms", in my draft folder started in summer of 2015 and added on to November of the same year. Oops, I kind of (most definitely) dropped the ball on this one... and probably so many other posts as well, but better late than never! I think I will continue with the "isms" because the girl's crack us up daily with their banter and silly sayings. :)

I dropped an apple in the sink while I was peeling it "shoot!"  Maisie came in and said "I'm sorry mama" and I told her "that's ok baby it's not your fault, you don't have to be sorry." Maisie then responded "but you always say you're sorry when I fall down and get hurt and that's not your fault."

Ellie was walking in the backyard by the lilac bush "Ellie is bonding with nature right now."

Maisie: What do you think Ellie's favorite color is?

Me: We don't know yet because she's not old enough to tell us.

Maisie: it's probably the color of your tummy.

Me: What?! Like skin color??

Maisie: No. Like the INside.

(Like when I was pregnant with her haha)

Sitting outside around the fire pit watching a couple of the resident pigeons (the creatures Austin openly despises most) strut around on the roof of the house.
Maisie: (knowing how much Austin hates the pigeons) Why don't we just get a knife and halve them? When you halve them, they die. And then we will see their guts.

Austin: Ew I don't want to see pigeon guts.

Maisie: I do!

Maisie pretending to be Dracula "I vant some beef jorkey (jerky)

Playing with her school erasers "This is Professor Hoots-bird"

When we were walking home from school "Uhg... It smells like a cat's toot."

Upon hearing Austin say my middle name is (which is Ashley by the way).

Maisie scoots in real close and puts her face to mine- practically nose to nose and in a loud whisper says: "Your. Middle name. Is. Hash brown?!"

"It's about to get real stinky." (upon tooting)

We were scoping out places to take our family pictures pretty much in the middle of no where Idaho, when Maisie said:

"I hope we don't get lost because we don't have any food in the car... Well, we do have mommy's milk." --this then led to an interesting conversation about how long I could keep my whole family alive solely on breast milk. Haha!

Watching Star Wars:
"Who would be on Darth Vader's side? Not me! I'm on God's side!"

"Luke Skywalker is awesome, cool, a Jedi and awesome." It seems Maisie has a bit of a crush on Mr Skywalker

Maisie's teacher told us a funny thing that Maisie had said while they were talking about Pilgrams and the Native Americans in Kindergarten and how they were the "first" people. Maisie then raised her hand and astutely said "No. Adam and Eve were!"

Maisie-isms #2

-Maisie cracks us up every day. If it's not what she's saying it's how she says it, but lucky for us, she says funny things all the time. I don't think we will ever be short on material that's for sure! So here's a new batch of Maisie-isms to remember:

-Maisie's lullaby to Ellie:

God loves me,

God loves you.

Hollywood, Idaho, French, Oregon.

He loves everyone.

-While in Primary in church:

Teacher: what does batman do?

All the kids yelling: flies!

Maisie raises her hand reverently and when she's called on replies: he glides.

All the teachers were impressed and so one of them asked: wow, how did you know that Maisie?

Maisie: my mom told me.

That's right baby! haha

-Playing Doctor Maisie & Ellie.

Maisie: ok you need a heart transplant. take these pills so you can go to sleep.

 (she then lifts up my shirt exposing my stomach and proceeds to to create a long incision the width of my belly.)

Me: (whispering because I am supposed to be sleeping) Maisie my heart is up here.

Maisie: (whispering back with squinty disapproving eyes because I am not supposed to be talking) I know, but that's where your boobs* are and you need privacy.

Also, through the duration of my extensive surgery Ellie kept trying to climb on me and Maisie kept saying "Doctor Ellie, don't climb on the patient!"

*we mostly refer to them as breasts or just chest, but it caught me off guard that she said boobs and was so nonchalant about it and that's what made it so funny. 

-We put a red lightbulb in a lamp in our room when Ellie was in there in case of night time diaper changes or when we needed to find something (pluggie) because it provides enough light to see, but doesn't wake you up like a normal lightbulb would. It's a lot softer. Anyway, Maisie would always say it looked like blood. She wasn't creeped out because Maisie likes anything and all things creepy, but one day as she turned the light on she turned to Austin and I while we were laying down and she said:

"I'm dying to see you."

-Teaching her how to count to ten in German.

For neun (nine) she would say "annoying' so it sounded a little something like this... sieben, (seven) acht, (eight) annoying (neun/nine), zehn (ten). The first time she really thought we said annoying instead of neun, but subsequent times she did it just to make us laugh.

-Maisie cuddles up to me on the couch and says:

Maisie: I just have a question for you mama.

Me: Yes?

Maisie: What's romance?

Me: Well, it's love. A romantic story is about love or about falling in love.

Maisie: So the story of you and daddy getting married is romantic?

Me:Yep.

Maisie: Is it also romantic when you are in a love boat?

-I made corn on the cob and Maisie wanted the corn holders so she wouldn't get her fingers buttery but she couldn't remember or didn't know what to call them so she asked:

"Do we have any corn stabilizers?"

-Watching The Phantom of the Opera (Maisie is obsessed!) and when the phantom sings "in all your fantasies" from the song Phantom of the Opera Maisie exclamied:

"Fantasies?! That's phantom talk!"

Maisie-isms

We went and exercised at the University gym/indoor track. Maisie ran laps ahead of us and every time we came around the start again Maisie would be waiting for us just like this just waiting for us to finally catch up.

Maisie one morning made a "nest" or "cozy spot" on the bottom shelf of the changing table complete with the iPad streaming either Phineas and Ferb or Octonauts.

Maisie is hilarious. This isn't new information I know, but lately it seems she has been extra funny. Just the things she says and how she says them crack us up! I decided to write a few down...

Upon walking into the family room and seeing Austin on the couch:

"Daddy are you taking a siesta?"

"Is that Tom Burgeron?" We may or may not be watching AFV together...

Maisie had a really bad ear infection, so Austin had bought her a little special bunny stuffed animal to help Maisie feel better and she brought it to her doctors appointment. After the doctor noticed the bunny austin said "maybe he has had ear infections too." then maisie responded "Dad, its not real. If it was real it would poop on my bed." Yes Maisie. Yes he would.

"Ellie is really cute huh mom? But she poops in her diaper and thats gross." Truth.

"Mommy, the pilot fish is my favorite fish! Oh and the flapnosed ray!"

"I can't be sick! Now I'll have to cancel my summer party!"

The girl has been obsessed about planning a summer party in summer. I'm sure we will oblige her.

Austin: ok, Maisie it's time for scriptures... are you going to read yours first?

Maisie: yeah. The spatulas say... spatulas!?! I said spatulas! I mean scriptures!

"Oh that looks like a fun place to live... I want to live there. But that means I would have to live in Mexico... and talk Spanish... and I don't know how to talk Spanish."

"My mommy made blueberry bread this morning! I am so proud of her."

"Are you so proud of me?" nothing makes this girl happier than when we say we are proud of her, so we say it a lot :)

I could and should do a weekly Maisie-isms post. She is just too much fun right now. I love my little Maisie Moo.

The weasel part II: alms for the lame

Last week during our nightly family scripture time Austin read the story to Maisie in the New Testament in the third chapter of the book Acts, about how Peter and John heal the lame man on the temple steps. If you are not familiar with the story it goes essentially like this:

Peter and John were on their way into the temple when a man born lame seeks alms from the two men. Peter then says "look on us" (Acts 3:4) the lame man looked to them thinking he was about to receive the alms he had asked for, but instead Peter said "silver and gold have I none: but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk." (Acts 3:6) and the man stood and began leaping, praising God as he entered into the temple with Peter and John.

Austin explained to Maisie what alms are and that he was asking for money because of his condition. As Austin reiterated the story in layman's terms Maisie carefully listened and then threw herself onto the ground. She held up her hands, squinted her eyes and said "I can't walk! I can't walk! I need money!" Austin after laughing a bit started to play the role of Peter. "I don't have money, but I can offer you something better! Rise up and walk!" Maisie didn't move a muscle and said "no I need money!" Austin tried to explain to her that the lame man wasn't healed with money, but rather with a priesthood blessing said in the name of Jesus Christ. Maisie listened and started over... "I can't walk! I can't walk! I need money!" Austin said Peter's part again, but the child still laid motionless. She then whispered "daddy, just give me some money please." so Austin pretended to toss a coin on the ground in front of Maisie, but of course that wasn't enough, it just HAD to be a real coin. Austin went into the other room grabbed a coin and placed it by Maisie's unmoving body. Maisie quickly snatched up the coin then leaped up and said "I'm healed! I'm healed!" Laughing, Austin put his head into his hands and sighed as that was not the point of the story. I just sat back and giggled and figured we would try again another night. haha she's such a weasel.

The weasel part I: free samples

A week or so before our trip to Oregon we ate at a local hot dog place called Skeeter's. As we were waiting for our hot dogs (a polish sausage for me) Maisie opened her bag of chips and proceeded to tell us that she was passing out free samples. So I held out my hand as Maisie promptly plopped a chip into my palm. Austin put out his hand and instead of getting a chip Maisie told him "the free samples are not free anymore". Austin chuckled as he asked how much she was charging. She proudly exclaimed "4 dollars!" so he pulled out his wallet and handed her 4 pretend dollars. Maisie gladly accepted the money and pretended to put it into her jean pockets. After Austin put his wallet away he outstretched his hand this time expecting to receive his "not-free-free-sample" but Maisie smugly looked right at him and as cold as a three year old could sound said "I'm sorry but we're closed now." haha! Where does this child come from?!

The most random status update

I just happen to check Facebook to see this status update from the husband....

Never a dull moment with those two.

The Take Down

At church last Sunday in the nursery (kids range from 18 months to 3) a string of interesting events took place that culminated to the take down of a life time. This is what happened- only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

In said nursery theres a boy, lets call him "A" who is a little bit of a trouble maker- cute as a button, but he's a biter. He has chomped right down on an innocent child's face who was standing a bit to close to a toy he was eyeing or biting someone's arm when he's out of animal crackers, now I have heard of biters, but this was my first experience with one and it was interesting to say the least. Most of the time"A" let's out a blood curdling war cry- his method of warning that an imminent bitting session is about to go down and I have been grateful for that warning on numerous occasions because I have stopped a couple bites from happening mainly on the meaty thighs of a pig tail clad girl that we will call "M". Now "M" is no easy walk in the park either. She's still working on furthering her sharing and listening skills, but she does really well with other kids (she is beyond social). She also has a type A personality. She's a bonafide rule follower so long as it's governed by time or schedule. "M" understands clean up time. She knows that after clean up time, is arts and crafts and then time for snacks (her favorite times of the day). So sometimes she helps persuade the kids to clean a little faster by constant reminding or by starting a work chanty. 

Now I don't know what happened this particular day but "A" was not happy with "M" at all. Right before clean up time "A" tried to bite "M's" leg, but the leader (who also happens to be M's grandma) stopped him before things got bloody. "M" seemed unaware of the attempt so grandma talked to another leader about possibly taking "A" to his mom who was in another room for sunday school, but "A" seemed to be doing a little better. He happily made a fort of toys around himself and was lost in play. Not 5 minutes later the start of clean up began. "M" went into clean mode and made her way to "A's" corner. "It's clean up time A!" "M" said in a chipper voice. That's when we heard the war cry. THE war cry and we all know what happens after the war cry. We all looked and on the other side there was curly pig tailed "M" and "A" baring his teeth simultaneously pulling "M's" dress toward his mouth snare. All of the leaders and myself included were on the far side of the room and knew it was too late for an intervention. Right as I was about to yell " M! Run!" M took matters into her own hands and with the force of a kraken took her palm and shoved it into "A's" face. It was hard. REALLY hard. "A" flew back onto the ground and grabbed his cheek in shock. The other leader bursts into laughter while I stood there trying to process what has just happened. Did my child just HIT another child!? "M's" face said it all. She seemed shocked herself. She didn't seem sorry or smug. She looked like she protected herself-like she thought about the different scenarios and that this was the only one. I was filled with pride "nobody puts (my) baby in a corner" but also embarrassment- dude my child just man slapped another kid. I used it as a teaching moment, explaining that I understood why she did it and that I knew she was scared in that moment so that's why she's not in trouble, but that next time she should try yelling "No biting!" and run away. "A" was then taken to his mom who admitted "good! he deserved it!". All was well.

On the way home and after a retelling of events Austin beamed with pride. I think he realizes we don't have to be so scared for our growing daughter. Not that we are ok with hitting, but we are happy that she knows to protect herself and hopefully when she's 16 she wont be afraid to slap a boy who tries to get a little too fresh. :)

p.s

I think I am still a little traumatized over the events of that day, but I still giggle replaying the take down in my head.

The Coughing Song

One night last week after I had already put Maisie to bed, she was still awake when Austin came home.  Side note- It's not unusual for her to stay awake up to an hour after initial bed time because she has to talk and sing herself to sleep and sometimes it takes awhile for her to actually feel tired enough to close her eyes. Anyway, I had the baby monitor on and could hear her singing something, but I couldn't quite hear the words. Austin went downstairs to say goodnight and upon opening the door Maisie became silent and shy. Austin asked her what she was singing about and then she proceeded to sing a song she made up about having a cough- strange seeing how she hasn't had one in quite some time.

The next morning when she came into bed with us Austin asked her to sing the coughing song to me and instantly she sang the song she made up the night before perfectly, which is odd because she usually can't remember the words to her made up songs because she makes up too many to remember, but for some reason this one has stayed with her. She still sings it on a daily basis and gets everyone to crack up with her silly song writing skills.

I present to you... The Coughing Song:

If you would like to sing along, here are the lyrics:

You just have a cough

and it's out of sight. 

You need a drink of water

and a hune-a-fier.

 (aka the humidifier)

p.s only my child would actually say "out of sight" haha!

Charlotte's Web

Last month we started reading a chapter of Charlotte's Web every night before bed. We finished the book and as a reward we purchased the 1970's version of the movie. Maisie loves seeing the characters that she got to know so well through the book  actually come to life on the tv and she proudly exclaims all of their names as she sees them (There's Wilber! There's Fern. Avery. Lurvy. Uncle etc). Plus, it's a musical, which means Maisie will have a new repertoire of songs soon.

Anyway, all was good and dandy until today during her nap, from the audio monitor I hear this...

(I texted Austin the fiasco)

Oh E.B White, thank you for teaching Maisie about dying. Better that, than a pet goldfish going belly up or something.

European

Austin and I just bought our first comforter since being married and we are feeling pretty adult about it. We have been using one that we picked out for our wedding registry and it has been good to us, but almost 4 years later it needed to be replaced. My brother and sister in law recommend a comforter that they just bought and after feeling it, we both knew we wanted one. It's crazy nice and we probably spent more money than we should have, but we got it for a good deal. 

Anyway, it came yesterday and after setting it up Austin, Maisie and I laid under it feeling proud of our purchase, when Austin asked "is this synthetic down or real?" meaning to sound kiddingly haughty I replied "Austin this is EUROPEAN duck down." Maisie thought about the words and looked at Austin, pointed and said "daddy, YOU'RE A-PEEING!" (European). We all laughed which fed the fire because she continued on by saying "I'M A-PEEING!" which naturally led to "EVERYONE'S A-PEEING!"

She is filled to the brim with silliness and oh, how I love her for it.

The Pitch Pipe Incident

Last week we took Maisie to Miranda's choir performance at Sprague- our old high school. Right before the last song, they pulled out a pitch pipe and played one note before getting started (since the song was unaccompanied by an instrument). Maisie proudly (and loudly) matched the note perfectly for all to hear. The room was dead silent until everyone exploded into laughter. As embarrassed as I was, I was slightly more proud. A handful of people came over to us after the performance and jokingly commented that we have a future choir child on our hands, but of course we already knew this. We couldn't stop Maisie from singing even if we tried.

p.s 

Of course they had to repeat the note and start over and this time we made sure to cup her mouth because she still couldn't resist the temptation.

How to be a cow...

Maisie Moo style:

1) Eat a handful of grass.

2) Let out a big "MooOOOoo".

3) Make a grumpy face when Mama and Dada tell you not to eat the grass.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Maisie has been on quite the Curious George kick lately. Oh Curious George, you are not my favorite. The show stresses me out because every episode George ruins/breaks something, tells lies, generally makes a mess of things and to top it off is intelligent enough to go to the moon or on an Antarctic excursion, but not smart enough to follow simple rules or know "better". Not to mention he never gets corrected or placed into time out. He gets away with whatever havoc he's caused simply because he's cute. Ok, I have gone on a tangent here, but I digress, I just really REALLY don't like the Curious George show.

Anyway, Maisie's George watching started out innocent enough, but before we knew it Maisie was portraying some interesting and uncharacteristic behavior. Her language seemed to regress. She would make strange noises instead of using her "big girl words". One particular noise she would make would drive me absolutely insane. I don't know how I would even describe the noise in written form, but if I have spoke with you in person or over the phone rather recently, you more than likely know the noise in which I speak of. It's a disappointed noise like "awww" but in an extremely whiney tone. Maisie randomly started making this noise to anything that she didn't like.

Examples:
It's nap time. awww
TV time is over. awww
Time to go home. awww
Time to get out of the bath. awww
Bed time. awww

BUT then she started making the noise to everything. Even things she liked. It. Drove. Me. Crazy. Austin finally one day asked me "Do you not like it because that's the sound Curious George always makes?" It clicked. YES THAT'S EXACTLY WHY!

 It wasn't just Maisie's speech regression though. She thought that she wouldn't have consequences for wrong actions. I understand this is partially a toddler thing in and of itself, but it wasn't setting a good example seeing someone (does he count as a someone?) make wrong choices or purposely disobeying and not even get the slightest disapproval from the "parent".

So that's why we made the decision to cut out George. Cold Turkey. It was hard on Maisie because she was used to watching a couple episodes a day, but we kept her busy. Some days she will still ask for it, but we have officially switched to the mellow and parent friendly show "Kipper". Who doesn't love a dog with a British accent right? Plus Maisie singing the theme song? Too dang cute.

On a happier note, we still read the classic Curious George books. In one called "Are You Curious?"(Maisie's favorite) Curious George actually gets a time out and Maisie loves knowing she's not the only one who needs them from time to time. She even tells George "It's ok George. Wait for the timer to ding".

So Curious George in book form is great, the PBS show? Not so much.

Hasta la vista, pluggie

Yes. That was a Terminator reference. I just went all Schwarzenegger on you.
(Austin and I watched it last night. We're nerds. We know.)

Two mornings ago, after Maisie woke up, Austin brought her into our room where I was still in bed. We read a few books together when she suddenly stopped, pulled out her pacifier (AKA "pluggie") and stared at it strangely. Which started this conversation between Austin and Maisie...

Austin: What is it Maisie? Is it broken?

Maisie: Yeah. Pluggie broken.

Austin: Do we need to throw it away?

Maisie: Yeah.

To our surprise Maisie ran full speed out of our room, into the kitchen and threw her precious plug into the trash. Austin and I were in shock. We honestly couldn't believe what had just happened. We praised Maisie with hugs and kisses and she was happy as a clam, dancing and singing around the whole house. Everything continued to be just dandy until we started making breakfast. I handed Maisie her milk (which we are now realizing is her trigger) when it dawned on her she didn't have her pluggie. She began to cry the saddest, most heartbreaking sobs. Tears streamed down her face as she repeated "pluggie. pluggie. pluggie please. pleeeeeeease." My heart ached. I wanted to fish the dang pacifier out of the trash, wash it off and hand it to her so badly, but I knew that now was the perfect time to wean her from it. She did it all on her own and opportunities like that are once in a lifetime. 

 The first day was pretty difficult, but not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. She asked for it almost every 15 minutes, and every time she did, we would ask her "Maisie do you remember what happened to your pluggie?" and she would repeat "Pluggie broken. Threw it away. Pluggie in trash." we confirmed her feelings of being sad and followed the whole thing up "you're such a big girl now!".  Even with asking for it constantly, she still took a nap (in the car, but that still counts) and fell asleep alone in her crib sans plug (without crying or even asking for it once!). The next day was exponentially easier, she only asked for it a handful of times and had no trouble falling asleep for her nap or bedtime. We haven't had a sleepless night yet and that was the number one thing I was dreading.

It has now been almost 72 hours since she had her pluggie last. Tonight we completed the third day of pluggie weaning and she only asked for it twice. This task which we have been dreading since, well forever, was much easier than we expected it to be. I think it's mainly due to her completely understanding what had happened/is happening. I think if we tried this a lot earlier like we originally planned, it would have been much more difficult. I am so happy and proud with how well she is doing with this huge change. I'm also proud of Austin and I because we tackled this as a team and Maisie couldn't have responded any better.

Yay for better pictures (without her pluggie), hearing her sweet little voice more and having one less task to tackle.
Bring on the potty training & big girl bed.

The last picture with "the plug".

Anthophobia

For some odd reason Maisie has developed a fear of flowers.

She appreciates them from afar, but refuses to smell or touch them.
On the rare occasion I have fresh cut flowers in the house this is how it goes down:
When they are on the counter or table = happy times.
The second I bring them down to Maisie's level = crazy toddler rage.
Even if they are the friendliest shade of yellow.

Strange because is it not the very design of flowers to be visually pleasing?

What really gets me confused is that she loves the not as lovely plant life. Leaves dead or living? You betcha. Pine needles? Yup. Grass, sticks and pine cones? yes. yes. yes.

Just the other night (the 4th of July) we were walking/wagoning in downtown Redwood city for the firework show, when we came across a patch of grass covered in pine needles. Maisie picked up the pine needles and ever so carefully organized them into a bouquet that she held in her little hand. She carried them around for about an hour, until we were walking back to the car where she dramatically dropped them from the side of her wagon onto the sidewalk (knowing that pine needles in the car are a no-go). She continued by saying "bye pine needles" a million times, waving and watching until they were out of sight.

I have always had a sentimental side, but Maisie enhances that tenfold. I mean I actually felt bad for the abandoned dirty little pine needles. I almost ran back and picked them up and why?
Simply because Maisie had loved them.


Maisie & a beloved stick

Hipster

Thank you Mr. Potato head for letting my daughter borrow your very becoming stache.

choo choo

Yesterday Maisie made up a song about a choo choo train all while dancing in her birthday wagon.

These little songs have become the norm in the Lee household as of lately. Maisie moo is quite the talented songwriter/singer/dancer wouldn't you say?

Excuse the wagon, backpack, vacuum and general mess in our entry way. We have a two year old you know...