Too Close

One of the scariest things happened last night. I am still recovering from it and the experience has really upped the paranoia of my already worrying mommy brain. Maisie has had a couple close calls with choking. Both were caused by our Christmas tree. One time at the farm and the other when she rolled under and tried to eat one of the lower branches. Both were scary, but we were able to fish the debris out of her mouth without a hitch. Last night was different.

After dinner Austin just started a show via netflix. I sat on the other couch with Maisie in my lap and I proceeded to fold the heaping pile of laundry to my left. Maisie was half way standing up bouncing on my right knee while hitting the couch cushions with her hands. Suddenly she started to cough. Not the I want attention cough, or I swallowed wrong cough. It was definitely trying to get something out of her throat. I turned her around quickly to hear her gasping and to see her eyes red and watery. I stood up in lightening speed and panicky said " She's choking, Oh my gosh she's choking!" Austin put out his arms and I put her belly down in his hands. I collapsed right by her face so I could see her. That's when she stopped coughing and breathing. Her face was bright red, her little body squirmed about and her eyes locked onto mine and were filled with terror. Austin turned her around tried sweeping her mouth and felt nothing. He also got a good look and still there was nothing there. Whatever it was, was in her throat and so he turned her back around and patted her back firmly. At that moment I thought "I am going to watch my baby die." Right then one of the most glorious sounds. A huge inhale followed by a very scared whimper and then she belted out a big cry. Now we all could breathe, together.

After the ordeal was over and Maisie was back to her giggling self I thought "what if this happened when I was by myself" During the scare I couldn't even think straight, I was filled with emotion and literally turned into jello. What if I didn't have Austin's calm hands to take over. He was seriously so calm and relaxed and thank Heaven for that because had he showed even an ounce of fear I would have really lost it. So I am now going to sign up for an infant CPR class. I took a course in high school, but obviously I lost that training. Plus it is entirely different when it's your child choking. So hopefully brushing up will better equip me with the knowledge and confidence to take charge and not flounder.

We still don't know what the culprit was, but we were on the couch next to laundry so maybe a lint ball or a small piece of paper? I really have no clue, but there was nothing dangerous on the couch to the best of my knowledge. She didn't even have toys on the couch, no tags, small objects what so ever. I went a little crazy last night after she went to bed and throughly cleaned. I vacuumed like a mad woman this morning before I set her down to play. I am still paranoid that at any moment shes going to find something she could potentially choke on.

Since the event last night Maisie has been extra needy. Wanting to be held more than anything. I don't blame her. It's scary not being able to breathe. I am just so glad shes okay and doing just fine. I think we are just as (or maybe even more) traumatized as she.