I have two more weeks of appointments until the induction on July 5th and I am so burned out. I truly am trying to savor what could be my last pregnancy, but I am exhausted in all the ways the word could be applied- physically/mentally/emotionally... that I feel as though I am at my ropes end. Yes, it has been stressful/nerve wracking/tormenting/exhausting, but along with those things, this pregnancy has had some truly sweet moments.
Things I want to remember:
-Maisie's not-a-second thought to kiss my belly every day when I drop her off at school (she's out of school for summer now, but any time we are saying bye for any reason as well) or when putting her down for bed. To her he's already apart of the family who deserves a kiss goodbye/goodnight as well.
-Ellie insisting on cuddling her baby brother... usually by sprawling across him or nuzzling her face into my tummy.
-Ellie claiming she can hear her baby brother talking to her. She will shush me and shove her ear onto my bump and claim "he says he loves me!" with the biggest smile on her face and giggling. Sometimes she claims to hear him cry and she tries to gently coax him down- usually by singing twinkle, twinkle or baby beluga.
-The way both of my daughters unconsciously rub my belly or the way their heads (especially Maisie's because she's taller) cradles my tummy when we are hugging. It's usually followed up with "Mommy! Your tummy is so HUGE! Look how big he is!!" haha
-The super kicks this boy gives me that let's Austin feel them from across the bed. Sidenote: even after 3 pregnancies Austin still gets weirded out by baby's movement in utero. While I know without a doubt that Austin adores this little boy and is so excited to finally meet him, I think he feels some slight disconnect until he actually comes face to face. It's hard for him to imagine what is now a 6.5 pound, fully formed baby rolling around in my tummy- I mean it is sort of weird right?
-Baby boy's predictable movement patterns. He usually sleeps while I do (hopefully a good sign for what's to come, I am hoping!) apart from an early wake up call around 5 am where he has a 20 minute kicking party and then settles back down until I am up and making/eating breakfast where he goes nuts for a good while. Then mid day he's pretty mellow, but around an hour or so after dinner he's up and wild for a couple hours rolling side to side in his now very tight quarters.
-The hickups. So many hickups!
-Doing my first load of all boy clothes and smiling while folding them, knowing soon he will be here wearing them. Maisie is especially sweet when she sees the clothes. She picks them up and oohs and aws at all the teeny tiny outfits and tries to imagine what he's actually going to look like. Ellie on the other hand tries to steal the tiny onesies and puts them on her baby doll haha!
-While we went through a slight phase of the name game, it wasn't nearly as painful as the fiasco of naming Ellie... This time it seemed natural and we all liked this name and it instantly felt right. As for the middle name, I am hoping to pull of a miracle to get my way, but Austin is pulling the "family name" trump card as of right now.
-The baby shower my friends threw for me a couple weeks ago was so fun and really gave me a boost of support to finish this pregnancy. There's something about getting together with friends and losing track of time in conversation that allowed my brain to stop worrying. It was thoughtful, sweet and simple and I truly loved everyone who came. I received a few homemade gifts that I know we will cherish for a long time.
-The way my belly looks like I have a basketball under my shirt. It's very symmetrically round. I carried the girls longer and more oval, so it's been fun to experience a different shape of pregnancy.
While the pregnancy has been challenging, it would be remiss of me not to express what a blessing it is to be able to grow our family once more. This little boy, while giving us quite the excitement this pregnancy, has been healthy and has made it to 36 weeks without any complications and that right there is a miracle. We are both strong and healthy- we only have a bit to go and although that "bit" is akin to the final summit of a tall mountain (labor/birth), we are ready. I can't wait to kiss his sweet face and know we have made it safely.
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